Nothing and Everything! It's frustrating when people claim to have all of the answers. There is no answer other than us. I want everyone to come together and start to realize how we are all the same. We are all pure beings. We have so much potential to love and be loved.
Anyways, I used to have this void in my heart and I would obsess over one thing for a while desperate to feel complete. Now theres no void. I think the major catalyst for this change in me was a switch to a primarily raw food way of eating. It's food that has the life force fully intact and it healed my body, and then my mind and spirit followed. Things seem to just fall into place now.. it's beautiful.
I do this sport now called Jiu-jitsu. It's a form of ground fighting (grappling) that is fun and a good confidence builder. Anything can be like that, though. I think I like it because it helps me to just be in the moment. Jiu jitsu is like a chess match. You can only plan your moves so far ahead of time. It's all about controlling your own game and not falling into the other person's traps. This reminds me of the concept that we create our own reality. Anything that is in your life is there because you allow it.
I also do acting. I love it. You could say acting breaths new life into me. Sometimes in our society we are taught not to feel. Feelings are seen as weak. Early in life I learned to have a smile on my face regardless of whether it was real. There were a few factors that fed into this, but I think a lot of people share the same fear of being vulnerable. To be vulnerable is to be human.
Lately I've realized that everything I do is pretty much an excuse to hang out with good people. It's confusing when people are heavily ego driven, though, because if you break it all down we are all the same. I think we are all the Creators. We are the Sons and Daughters, and we are the Universal Energy that is everything.
"I knew much more then, than I do now"
